I'm Worried About My Daughter

I think the best part of having a blog is to have a sounding post.  My youngest daughter has been diagnosed with narcissism, as I suspected for quite some time.  Maybe not the malignant type, she doesn't appear to be a feeder, as she doesn't do it to me.  But she just had a baby Wednesday night, a little boy, 8 lbs and 6 oz.  We had a huge fight Wednesday night right after she had the baby, as I caught her lying to me.

The lie was in the purchase of a crib, she said she had bought.  Long story.  I don't mind she didn't buy the crib, I minded her lying about it.  I told her to tell the truth, as it is better than lies and I don't mind it if she didn't buy the crib, we would figure it out.  I have money to buy the crib and would have done it, but she lied.  She said the crib was ordered and on back order now and I don't believe her.

I told her I'll always respect the truth, there is nothing wrong with not being able to buy the crib.  I'm so upset and even told her that I would take the baby if she keeps this up.

Her older sister told me why don't I just believe her?  I don't know.  We all believed the crib would be here by now, and this is another crisis we have to deal with regarding her.  With her, there is always a crisis, I told her, and if she just said the truth, all will be well.

Ok, I know I didn't explain that well.  My husband paid for the baby shower, and what she didn't receive at the shower, we got for her.  Her boyfriend bought things too.  She is in college right now and has limited money, I get that, but we must make do with little money.  I worry about when she graduates, I worry about a job for her, I worry, I worry.

Her boyfriend is very wonderful to her, doesn't take any of her crap.  He works all the time, and really tries hard.  I think he might be an ACON.  He has no family, so I uphold him in handling her.  He's really a big grown up man.  We all think she has really lucked out with him.  And, I'll do all I can to help, and educate him.  I plan on having that type of family.

But now I can't reach her.  Not by phone, and I tried to visit with her yesterday and she wasn't around, I don't have her boyfriend's cell phone number and I will get it next time.  I just want to reach her and apologize for that fight.  I'm going to take the hour drive again and go knock on the door and stay right there till I'm answered.  I'm so upset.  I can help her with the baby.  It's because I threatened to take him.

I'm never going to have sympathy for narcs, no way.  I will continue to take a hard line with them. I feel I just argued with another ACON on another board about it.  As that ACON is bordering on narcissist sympathy is my feeling.

But I'm confused, I have a family, and I'm not sure what to do.  I pressure her for the truth and its goes hard with us.  Her father was a narcissist, so that might be where she gets it from.  Some days I just want to hold her in my arms forever, somedays, well just shake her.  And these are emotional times, given what I had awoken from, my own malignant narcissist mother.

I blame my mother for this and my ex-husband.  But what's the point of blame, it doesn't fix things.  I think I'll just have to work with her as is.  I'll tell you secretly, I will take the baby if I have to, my husband and I have already decided.  But I'm scared.  I know she and her boyfriend have limited money and live on their own.  I wish I could help out more, but I can't hold down a job, and its not fair for me to ask my husband to always help out here.  Her own father is sleeping all the time and doesn't work either.  What a mess this is.

My husband has a daughter of his own, she is single with 2 kids and desperately needs a deep freezer. They are very expensive, and he will give her one at Christmas time I think.

So yeah, I think this is the first time I talked of my youngest daughter on here.  Hope this makes sense.  And as they say, the show must go on.